It's called foreplay
by xentrya
Summary: ...Xena and Gabrielle are headed to Corinth,and, forced by the circumstances of course, so is Argo ..:)) But the question is, why is Ares with them and what exactly is he doing? Read and enjoy:) By the way, it's a one shot:)


**It's called foreplay **

**( Xentrya) **

**Disclaimer- **** So no, they don't belong to me…As always though, in my dreams, Ares is mine**

**OK SO LET'S SEE...THIS IDEA MIGHT SOUND A BIT SILLY- YOU CAN BLAME SOME MUSE FOR THAT- BUT TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ANYWAY:))) **

"Xena…." Gabrielle timidly started, staring in awe over her shoulder for the hundredth time or so that day, not really able to decide whether she was seeing things or not…It had happened to her once or twice before to talk to trees, horses, and even to her staff ….heck, she could even remember a time when she had a surprisingly long and fruitful conversation with her quill and at a certain point she could have sworn that they had all talked back- and yeah, Xena did advise her back then to keep her **"supernatural abilities"** a secret….no one else needed to know about them , and she couldn't exactly understand** why**, but as always, she did listen to her friend.

The problem was that now she really found herself on the horns of a dilemma …was this actually happening or not?! Maybe Joxer had been right after all when he told her that she had a screw loose….

"Yeah….? " the Warrior Princess finally answered, while carefully scouting the road ahead, paying in fact little or no attention to what the Bard was going to say….

Wanting to make sure that she was being listened to, Gabrielle left Argo trotting unhurriedly behind and took a few steps closer to the dark haired Warrior who was seemingly completely absorbed by whatever it was she had spotted.

"Xena…..? " she repeated, gently touching her arm….

" Can you hear that, Gabrielle?" her friend questioned instead, holding up her hand as a faint noise reached her ears.

The Bard rolled her eyes and focused on the symphony of sounds surrounding them- the rustling leaves in the wind, some birds singing….a few deer running towards the forest, Argo neighing …..nothing unusual…

" Hear what?"

" There are three brown bears, a few kilometers from here….It's their mating season…..we'd better stay out of the forest tonight….."

The Bard stared at her friend in disbelief for a couple of seconds. Was she serious?! Talking about supernatural abilities…And to think that she had considered herself the ultimate weirdo….What a joke!

" Oh….right….I knew that. Bears….I mean they're not ants…can't miss them. Of course I knew they were here...somewhere…..I was also certain about the color….They can't be pink right? Or blue? Blue bears…Imagine that. " she blabbered, almost forgetting what she had meant to say in the first place….

"Right….." Xena smartly repeated, on that tone that Gabrielle hated so much…**that **tone that always reminded her who was the hero and who was the sidekick….She would have never admitted it, not in a million years, but Gabrielle knew better…..Anyway, she let it slip this time, since she suddenly recalled that she had more important problems to clarify…

" …Remember when you said I have a very rich imagination?" she bluntly began, thus making sure that she was not going to be interrupted again….Brown bears….who cared about bears anyway….it's not like they were going to lurk around their campfire at nightfall….?

" You sure have…."

"I know. I'm a Bard…. that's what I do for a living! Well not precisely **for a living **but it's pretty close to a regular job- though it's more like a **passion** than a job…"

"…A **hobby**…." the Warrior Princess emphasized, taking an apple from the saddlebag.

" That's right….Who knew warriors are also gifted with the spoken word ?" Gabrielle muttered, an irony that the Warrior Princess immediately remarked.

" Yeah well….I have many skills…"

"I' m starting to hate that line…." the Bard informed, giving her friend, a bright, candid smile that unabashedly confessed the exact opposite…..

Xena just laughed at noticing her frustration. She could be so funny at times...

"Anyway…." the Bard continued, clearing her throat as if she were about to articulate something of immense national importance, and her speech alone could seal the fate of the entire Greece. ….Despite the fact that it was clearly not the case, she did manage to capture the Warrior's attention….She had a gift for that.

"…..So uh…." she started, tightening the hold on her staff as she kept walking…." This might be all in my head but…." she continued, only to lower her voice to a whisper for the rest of the line. " ….ever since this morning, I have been seeing** HIM**….."

**" Him?"** the Warrior Princess asked, as if she had no idea who it was she was talking about.

**" Ares…"** Gabrielle hissed through clenched teeth, barely above a breath, glancing furtively in the same spot she had seen him for most of the day." He's behind Argo…."

As if to humor her, Xena threw a casual look over her shoulder but appeared utterly disinterested by what she came to discover.

" Yeah, so?"

" Can you see him too?!" the Bard questioned, relief written all over her features.

"Of course I can see him! "

"By the nine muses! What's he doing now?! "

"Looking as he's about to throw up soon…Argo has been farting a lot today….I think it's those apples you gave him this morning….I told you, wood apples aren't precisely ideal for horses…."

"So now, I'm to be blamed for it …"

"Who else?!"

" Well how about Argo for a change ! She is the one who ate them after all! "

" She's just a horse! She doesn't know…" the Warrior Princess exclaimed, a bit taken aback by the Bard's utter lack of logic.

"Boy, does this contradict your _** Argo is not just a horse**_ theory…..Really, Xena, you can be so indecisive at times….." she bit, only to go on ranting about the subject she was actually interested in. There was no point debating useless stuff when there were far more captivating things happening only two yards behind them.

" About Ares…."

"What about him…?"

" What is he doing here?"

"Walking behind Argo as I see it…." Xena replied, arching an eyebrow at the perfectly silent War God, and a keen observer would have certainly noticed the hint of amusement shining in her eyes and the way in which her lips quivered a little in the effort to hold back a smile.

" I can see that, Warrior Princess. But the question is** why**?" the Bard inquired, narrowing her eyes a little at her patronizing friend.

" How should I know? Maybe he had nothing better to do up on Olympus….."

"And he figured that walking behind your horse would make a much more interesting activity?! "

This time, the Warrior didn't even make an effort to come up with what someone might call a decent answer; instead she just shrugged and contended herself with caressing the horse's long, silky mane.

" Is that it?! " the exasperated Bard asked-in a considerably higher tonality, inhaling sharply as she delivered her message. She was starting to get pissed now.

"What would you want me to say?! He's Ares…..he's not precisely normal either….."

There...they were finally getting somewhere, the Bared mused once she got an answer she was partially satisfied with.

"I can see what you mean, but still…There must be more to it….I mean look at him….He doesn't seem to be enjoying himself too much. Plus, he's kinda pale….."

" As I said, he's gonna faint soon…"

" I didn't even know that Gods can faint….."

" Well….he will. Anyway, if you're so curious about it, why don't you go there and ask him yourself? ! Keep him company for awhile…" Xena suggested, doing her best to stifle a laugh…..Just as she had predicted, this was going to be a memorable day...

" I don't know about that…Ares and I don't really interact well together…..We don't see eye to eye on…..many things….on **anything,** to be more accurate…Why don't you go and talk to him?"

"Me?!"

"Yeah you…."

" Simply because I'm not as curious as you are! "the Warrior Princess bravely defended herself.

" Fair enough…..But still, it's your horse he's been following around….."Gabrielle tried to attack….Her strategy didn't really have the desired effect though …

"….And he can keep following it for the rest of the week for all that I care…."

"So aren't you the least intrigued by the reason behind this unprecedented madness….?"

"Nope…."

"And just how should I approach him?" she finally asked with a sigh….

"Small talk Gabrielle….small talk. Start with the weather or something. I don't even know why you're so nervous about it, you're great with people….What could go wrong?!"

…And that was more than the Bard's ego could take…..The following moment, she was turning around, and decisively walking toward Ares. Xena was right after all, he was just an Olympian, why should she feel intimidated by him in any way? Out of the two, she was the smart one, anyway….

"So uh…" she cautiously started, smiling big as she reached her target, matching her step to his…."I've noticed you around….."

" ...I find you very attractive." Ares immediately replied, without looking at her, his gaze fixed somewhere on the horizon.

The Bard was stunned.

"You do….?!"

He couldn't help laughing at her naivety.

"Don't flatter yourself , it's just a song. "

Even more hesitant than before, Gabrielle tried to rephrase her sentence- without too much luck though.

"I've noticed you around, today and I was wondering….Would you….uh….Would you?!"

"Go to bed with me?!"

"Pardon?!"

" It's the song again….."he sneered, this time throwing her a cynical once over.

"What song are you talking ab…? Never mind…I thought I was seeing things earlier this morning…and all through the day, but it seems that I wasn't. You're real….!"

"Did you figure that out all by yourself?!" he smugly asked, disdain in his voice.

" Actually Xena kinda helped me with that" she admitted "….Why are you walking behind a horse?" she fired away, wasting no more time. She was just dying to know…

" Why not?"

" What do you mean, **why not**?"

"Why** wouldn't** I walk behind a horse?"

" Who does that?"

" The answer is pretty obvious don't you think?"

"Are you mortal again or …something?" she questioned, checking to see if the Sword of War was in its righteous place.

" I could zap you and see if I still got it.." he suggested, grinning from ear to ear, snapping his fingers in pure reflex, ready to create a few sparks.

"No need to….I believe you…."

"That's quite a relief…" he simply replied, quickly pinching his nose and waving his other hand in disgust when Argo farted again…

"By the Gods!" the Bard exploded, taking two steps back, and giving the War God a scandalized gaze. "That stinks!"

" Yeah, tell me about it….." he retorted, stopping for a few seconds, and letting the horse walk a few more yards before he followed again…

"Are you by any chance trying to kill yourself and you haven't figured out what the most demeaning method to do it could be?! "

" Gods can't kill themselves…Sadly…" he replied, making a face at her.

"Yeah well…if you keep this up, I do think you have a pretty good chance to join your Uncle in the Underworld…."

"Hey! Were are you going?! …." he yelled once he noticed that she was heading back to Xena.

" Well….I'm not suicidal…..yet…Plus, you weren't planning on telling me why you're here any time soon, right…?"

Behind Argo, the God just shrugged, arching an eyebrow at her. Gabrielle smiled. A silent agreement was better than nothing.

**XXX **

"Well, at least I tried…." she let the Warrior Princess know, grabbing Argo's reins from her. " Remind me to never give her wood apples again…in my life…."

" 'Didn't appreciate the result, huh?" Xena asked with a chuckle, taking a good look at her friend's disgusted expression.

" Not really, no…"

"So….did you find out why is he walking behind Argo?"

There were a few long moments in which the Bard fought an inner battle with herself , wondering whether to say it out loud or not. She finally did- in a low enough voice so that Ares couldn't hear her, of course.

" I think he's brain damaged, Xena…The way he's dragging his feet….and his expression…"

At her description, the Warrior Princess shifted her gaze towards the God.

" He looks just fine, to me.." she finally stated, and judging by her reaction, she had meant every word…

" He can't be….Just take a look at the corners of his mouth…."the Bard contradicted, certain that she could read people better than anyone.

"He's just bored…."

"Oh…." she concluded, seeing that she wasn't going to get anything out of her friend either…."How long till we make camp? My feet are killing me!" she whined, sick and tired of all that walking…She really needed to buy herself a horse as well…She was getting too old for roaming the country on foot.

" Half an hour, at most." the good news came.

" Great! Xena….?"

"Huh?"

"Are you sure you don't want to talk to him? …..If you ask me, he looks almost depressed ….." she insisted, compassion in her eyes.

" I'm positive, Gabrielle. "

" …Do you know a lot of gods?"

"I know most of them. Why do you ask?"

" Are they all as crazy as Ares?"

"Ares is…..special….."

"As in** special needs,** special?" she whispered against her friend's ear.

" Something like that, yeah…"

" 'Can't say I'm surprised…I've always thought that he doesn't have both oars in the water …."

"I haven't gone deaf! My hearing is still in perfect shape, you know!" the God exclaimed from behind Argo, right before the horse farted again….

The scene ended with a frustrated Ares smacking furiously the horses' ass and, as some sort of payback- with Argo hitting him square in the chest and sending him flying straight into some thorny bushes that made him scream like a little girl as soon as he landed on top of their thick, scratchy surface….

**XXX **

About an hour later, right before sunset, they had finally reached a spot that in the Warrior Princess' vision was ideal for spending the night. No bears in the area, no danger….

Gabrielle was still ranting of course, and this time she was saying something about old, used leather ….

" Oh Gods! This is soooooo good! " she exclaimed taking a seat on a fallen log, right in front of the campfire, and taking off her torn boot. " This looks awful! I should really find a new pair in Corinth, Xena, or at least get this one repaired. These are a mess…." she added, carefully inspecting the hole that had just ruined her favorite pair of shoes.

"They were a mess waaay before you bought them…"

Gabrielle frowned of course, but just when she was about to bite back, ready to tell her friend how frighteningly insensitive she could be at times, the War God- who had just finished brushing Argo, passed her by and went straight to Xena.

"So….was it worth it ?" she asked with a laugh, obviously referring to his new favorite way of spending his spare time.

His reply was concise and cutting, playfully seductive but…impatient…

" Don't worry, I'll make sure of that …."

Before the Bard could even realize what was going on, the God's fingers were already entangled in the Warrior Princess' raven tresses, and, with a neanderthalian brutality he pushed her against the tree rising just inches from where she was seated. His body slammed violently against hers but the contact only drew a visceral sigh of longing from the already aroused Warrior….There was no fighting him….not one gesture of disapproval….

When he spoke, his own voice was husky with need, and every time his lips moved to utter a sound, they brushed against hers, that's how close they now were…He was parched with need for her, and it appeared that he had been counting the seconds, the minutes and the hours that day, patiently waiting for the time to pass, patiently waiting to win the bet…

"...each second spent behind that damned horse will be a second more inside you..."

" _Gabrielle is watching…"_the still rational part of Xena's brain screamed as he enslaved her will, his tongue parting her lips and plunging it deep into her mouth, making her moan in such a wanton, licentious way that she was almost ashamed of it…..She knew she shouldn't have allowed him to do it, not right there, her mind knew it, yes, but her treacherous body- scorched with desire as it was- no longer cared….As his fingers slowly drifted from her hair to her throat, choking her lightly, a wild groan this time escaped her mouth, and that only made his kiss become even more feral, even more demanding…

"...so I sure hope you had your share of fun today, cause it's my turn to be entertained...and I'm gonna fuck your brains out tonight…" he whispered while letting her draw a breath, his eyes glittering with untamed desire, and this time it was her turn to desperately want to capture his lips- every inch of her body longing for the illicit passion his nearness had the power to inflame in her, but before she had the chance to do so, he had already put a bit of distance between them, letting her every muscle quiver with a rush of expectation.

" You're gonna have to wait for it though…" he announced, a devilish smile playing on his lips while taking a step away from her tempting form. As always, she drew him like a magnet- the force of which he found impossible to resist- not that he had ever seriously considered doing anything similar….he would just delay their ecstasy, for a short while….

"Xena!" Gabrielle's scandalized voice suddenly penetrated the still air, making them both look her way, as if they had totally forgotten that she was still standing there. "What's the meaning of this?! What are you doing?!" she barked, casting the couple an accusing, malevolent glare.

**" Foreplay, baby! It's called foreplay!"** Ares' voice echoed right before he dematerialized from the place, winking at his Princess as he disappeared in a rain of blue sparkles. "Later, Hun…."

The Warrior Princess bit her lips hard, paying no attention to her outraged companion…This was a bet she was glad he had won….


End file.
